She Stole My Heart...

Nothing can be better than finding that one amazing person that wants to know everything about you.  The person that loves you, not matter what, including the weird quirks that you didn't realize you had until they brought them to your attention.  While loving every little ounce of goofiness, playfulness, seriousness, and everything in between.

And in less than one full year, even less than eleven months, this wonderful, creative, supportive, caring, and sweet woman will be my wife.  Since the day we met, we knew we would continue through life side-by-side.  It is not a guarantee, it is not a promise, but it is how we see our future, together.

She stole my heart, I stole her swag.


Closing thought:  It's love.  Our love.  Plain and simple.   

 * ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

Loved Always, Missed Deeply

So many emotions.  Still having a rough time dealing with the loss of a great man, even though I wasn't "really family."  I just know that I loved him like he was my own Grandpa and I felt that it was returned by him.  

Everyone copes with loss in their own way, I find music to wrap myself in.  I gravitate to music and lyrics that say exactly what I feel or the emotional attachment between myself and others.  Grieving takes many shapes, many faces, many topics, many songs.

Having not been able to attend my own Grandpa's funeral many years ago.  I no longer have my Dad in my life.  My son and I do not see each other, nor talk.  I have no extremely close relationships with any man that had previously had in my life.  Each of these factors combined  made this moment hit me ridiculously harder on many more levels than I ever expected. 

Of all the days for Papa to pass, it was September 11, and the day we had scheduled for our Engagement Portraits to be taken.  That night was a whirlwind, and it seems to not to have stopped fully.  Now with planning our wedding, there feels like a very large part will be missing. He and I both were very excited to have him say the blessing at the ceremony.  Remembering just how proud he was, and he let it be known, that she and I are getting married and bought a house together.  Breaks my heart that he's gone and won't be able to invite us to dinner, tell us the same stories for the 58th time less than 3 months, or to leave the 2 minute voicemails on my fiancee's cell.  And of course, my daughter would always ask about Papa and couldn't leave without giving him a big hug.  The list goes on, and on.   

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers, "don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday"

He looks up and says,
"I can see God's face"

This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home
 -Carrie Underwood, "Temporary Home"

I apologize that this definitely is not a cohesive blog post.  Emotions are streaming in from every direction.  Sometimes you just need to get out how you're feeling and not let it sit inside.  I haven't been able to put into words how I've felt in the past couple of months, and I have noticed that I've distanced myself even from my future wife.  Writing is therapeutic.  Music is therapeutic.  Love never ends. 

Closing Thoughts:  Don't hide your emotions!  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

Personal Thoughts

"But I'm sure that whether you decide to forgive me & continue to walk through this absolutely crazy life with me as your friend or if you decide it's best to cut ties with me so that future anger, frustration. & hurt is avoided completely... I understand & won't hold any grudges against you because you have made a great impact on my life in the short time that I've been able to call you my friend."

  
"Life is meant to be an adventure. Finding someone to share it with... can be a trip! The most important part... not holding back & having no regrets! Enjoy your adventure!!"

"The future is still unwritten.  And for me, right now, in this moment, that is my greatest comfort." 

These are all from very intimate conversations with very close friends, or people that I believed would still be in my life into t he future.  At least I still have the memories.  

(This may be one of those posts that I continue to update from time to time.) 

Closing Thoughts:  Keep it personal.  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

Holy Crap... Unexpected!!

I cannot say just how EXCITED I am for this very fast update!!

Ironically, the day after I originally posted "My Turn" ... I walk into the Atrium on campus and what do I see in the Student Life Fair but a PRIDE ALLIANCE booth!!  And their first meeting is going to be held this coming Friday, February 8th from 12:30 to 2pm!!  Too bad I have to be to work at 1 on Friday!  :-(  I am crossing my fingers to be able to be a VERY active member in the PRIDE ALLIANCE!!  


  

My Turn...

"If you want something done, you need to do it yourself.  If it is something that means something to you, take the reigns and run with it.  Do not let anyone tell you that it cannot be done or that it does not matter."

I believe now is a great time to decide that I am completely in charge of my life - yes, I knew this before - and get myself focused on some of my passions.  It is my turn to show the world, or little ol' Rochester, what I am made of and where my heart is in our community.  

Our LGBT Community is very visible in our area but here on campus, we no longer have a Campus Pride, our student run LGBT club.  I will, well should, only be attending this college for, at most, two more semesters, so I would like to see Campus Pride in full swing for the remainder of my time here.  

That being said, I am going to start knocking down doors and getting people rallied with me!  We, the student body, needs to have a voice and a universal place to be themselves on campus and to know that it is a "Safe Place."  Yes, I know that there are plenty of place on campus that are available as such a domain, but I would like to see a united front here again. 

I was told by a few of my buddies in another club that they have my back on this and they support me enough to stand up for Campus Pride, even though they may not fall into the LGBT community completely; having Allies is a great gift to anyone that is in "the family."

So, as I continue to persue my education, I am going to become more of an "activist," for lack of better term.  I'll keep you updated on the progress of Campus Pride!!

Closing Thoughts:  Lighting a fire within.   Lighting a fire on campus.  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°