Consiquences & Forgiveness

"I'm definitely learning that people walk into our lives when the time is right... but they also exit when they're supposed to.  It's a hard concept to grasp.  And one I've fought with for years and years."  ~ Mel's very own philosophy 

I guess it is time for me to stop fighting the fact that not everyone will always be there for me and I have to accept that I have to deal with some situations on my own.  I cannot always count on the people in my circle to help me heal when life knocks my feet out for underneath me or punches me in the gut.  I hate feeling alone and left to pick up my own pieces.  I know I have plenty of wonderful people that I can turn to, but there are times that they will not be able to piece me back together.

I have caused so much drama in my life over the past couple of weeks.  My head and my heart are still reeling from the whirlwind of bad choices that I have made.  And now, I find out that the man that I let into my life was a complete and utter jackass that knew exactly what he was doing by trying to control every move I was making.  In the time that I allowed him to call the shots, I started to see the people I love and care for begin to shut me out because I thought I was doing what was right by turning my back on them.  Boy was I wrong for that move.  

Now, three months later, I have moved on from that moment in my life, although I am still dealing with the consequences of my actions.  I have not spoken to that said person in over two and a half months, and I do not plan on speaking to him ever again.  There are some people that just have toxic personalities; I lived with one before and will not again allow one to be a large part of my life. 

I feel that I have found the one person in life that truly gets me and understands what I'm working through in my life.  She is absolutely amazing in so many ways that I almost cannot believe that she loves me for who I am. Knowing that she, too, has dealt with rough parts in her life, I feel more comfortable with sharing my deepest secrets and thoughts with her.   

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Another post that was started over a year ago.  Dealing with how complicated and unruly one relationship was beginning to make a deeply romantically charged one, having to cut ties sometimes is the only way to save one's own sanity and the love of a lifetime.  

I appreciate the time that I did have with him and the changes that I made in that time.  I will not sacrifice the love and connection that I have for the woman that I have beside me.  

Closing Thoughts:  Letting go & moving on is good.  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

My Lovable Randomness

Here's a little "background" on the girl I am.  I am a "facebook junkie."  I cannot flow with the same train of thought for a long period of time (as noted in my "Distractions" post).  I love catching my friends completely off guard by messaging, texting, or just saying the most random ideas or comments at completely random times.  I am then known to be "Captain Obvious," stating "RANDOM" right after the comment.  I have been told numerous times that I can only be "handled in small doses," which is hilarious to me!  I love to make people smile and laugh.

Randomly random facts about myself:

• I used to suck my thumb until I was about 14.
• I believe in God.
• Everyday, I wear something pink and/or sparklie!
• I refuse to eat any white & creamy substance, with only a couple exceptions.
• I had never been to the beach until I was 22 or 23.  First time was at nighttime with a group a girls I had just met that day, in North Carolina.
• I love wintertime.
• I once had lunch with Mr. Olan Mills, II, Chairman Emeritus of Olan Mills INC.  
• I conquered my phobia of cleaning a cat box, finally, at the age of 28.
• I love Pepsi.
• I have a passion for photography.
• I still have a crush on Jon Bon Jovi!
• I kissed a girl and it will happen again.
• I have never had my very own apartment.
• I am a domestic violence survivor!
• I HATE spiders & snakes!
• Even when my children are not with me, I tell them "Goodnight.  And have good dreams.  I love you, my little honeys," outloud.
• I am a terrible liar.  
• I still have a piece of my "blankie" from when I was way little.
• I have had a one-night stand with a man that did not remember my name in the morning.
• I have an minor obsession with facebook.
• I am always listening to music; hardly watch television.
• Unfortunately, I have been caught engaging in sexual acts by random strangers, and people close to me. 
• I can wrap presents like a pro.
• When our Ecology Club went to Boston for a Whale Watch, I went through 10 rolls of film in just three days!  I was only 13 at the time.
• I live with "open-mouth-insert-foot syndrome."
• I was not allowed to attend my Grandpa's funeral because I was on crutches at the time.
• I have put on makeup just to go to the grocery store since I was a teen.
• I own a bracelet that says "No Boyfriend, No Problem."
• I hate horror films!
• Usually my face turns bright red when I laugh extremely hard.  Sometimes, I snort.  Other times, I cannot breathe. 

Do not judge me by what you have just learned about the person I am.  These are all part of what make me unique.  I can be almost 100% sure that you have some truths about yourself that you are uncomfortable with.  Possibly the only difference between us, I accept who I am and am not ashamed any longer of my choices, especially the one I'm about to make when I click the "Publish Post" button.   
 

Closing thought: Be random, and enjoy it.  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°