Holy Crap... Unexpected!!

I cannot say just how EXCITED I am for this very fast update!!

Ironically, the day after I originally posted "My Turn" ... I walk into the Atrium on campus and what do I see in the Student Life Fair but a PRIDE ALLIANCE booth!!  And their first meeting is going to be held this coming Friday, February 8th from 12:30 to 2pm!!  Too bad I have to be to work at 1 on Friday!  :-(  I am crossing my fingers to be able to be a VERY active member in the PRIDE ALLIANCE!!  


  

My Turn...

"If you want something done, you need to do it yourself.  If it is something that means something to you, take the reigns and run with it.  Do not let anyone tell you that it cannot be done or that it does not matter."

I believe now is a great time to decide that I am completely in charge of my life - yes, I knew this before - and get myself focused on some of my passions.  It is my turn to show the world, or little ol' Rochester, what I am made of and where my heart is in our community.  

Our LGBT Community is very visible in our area but here on campus, we no longer have a Campus Pride, our student run LGBT club.  I will, well should, only be attending this college for, at most, two more semesters, so I would like to see Campus Pride in full swing for the remainder of my time here.  

That being said, I am going to start knocking down doors and getting people rallied with me!  We, the student body, needs to have a voice and a universal place to be themselves on campus and to know that it is a "Safe Place."  Yes, I know that there are plenty of place on campus that are available as such a domain, but I would like to see a united front here again. 

I was told by a few of my buddies in another club that they have my back on this and they support me enough to stand up for Campus Pride, even though they may not fall into the LGBT community completely; having Allies is a great gift to anyone that is in "the family."

So, as I continue to persue my education, I am going to become more of an "activist," for lack of better term.  I'll keep you updated on the progress of Campus Pride!!

Closing Thoughts:  Lighting a fire within.   Lighting a fire on campus.  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

Temporary Removal

I know at the time that I had posted my "Label Me a Lesbian" essay, that I was rather proud of it and wanted the world to be able to better understand the differences, yet at the moment I am retracting my post for reasons that I will not completely disclose for now.  Some additions need to be made and a little more editing must happen. 

Thank you for all of your support and love. 

Closing Thoughts:  Revamping ideas.   Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

Consiquences & Forgiveness

"I'm definitely learning that people walk into our lives when the time is right... but they also exit when they're supposed to.  It's a hard concept to grasp.  And one I've fought with for years and years."  ~ Mel's very own philosophy 

I guess it is time for me to stop fighting the fact that not everyone will always be there for me and I have to accept that I have to deal with some situations on my own.  I cannot always count on the people in my circle to help me heal when life knocks my feet out for underneath me or punches me in the gut.  I hate feeling alone and left to pick up my own pieces.  I know I have plenty of wonderful people that I can turn to, but there are times that they will not be able to piece me back together.

I have caused so much drama in my life over the past couple of weeks.  My head and my heart are still reeling from the whirlwind of bad choices that I have made.  And now, I find out that the man that I let into my life was a complete and utter jackass that knew exactly what he was doing by trying to control every move I was making.  In the time that I allowed him to call the shots, I started to see the people I love and care for begin to shut me out because I thought I was doing what was right by turning my back on them.  Boy was I wrong for that move.  

Now, three months later, I have moved on from that moment in my life, although I am still dealing with the consequences of my actions.  I have not spoken to that said person in over two and a half months, and I do not plan on speaking to him ever again.  There are some people that just have toxic personalities; I lived with one before and will not again allow one to be a large part of my life. 

I feel that I have found the one person in life that truly gets me and understands what I'm working through in my life.  She is absolutely amazing in so many ways that I almost cannot believe that she loves me for who I am. Knowing that she, too, has dealt with rough parts in her life, I feel more comfortable with sharing my deepest secrets and thoughts with her.   

______

Another post that was started over a year ago.  Dealing with how complicated and unruly one relationship was beginning to make a deeply romantically charged one, having to cut ties sometimes is the only way to save one's own sanity and the love of a lifetime.  

I appreciate the time that I did have with him and the changes that I made in that time.  I will not sacrifice the love and connection that I have for the woman that I have beside me.  

Closing Thoughts:  Letting go & moving on is good.  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

Reading List

Since I started taking my (favorite literature class thus far) Gay & Lesbian Literature class at school (and keep in mind that I am going to be 30, so "school" that I speak of is my first attempt at college since life happened between now & high school), I have started to make a reading list.  I might, one day, post my list but until I get it squared away, feel free to tell me what are your favorite LGBT genre novels, memoirs, fiction, etc.  

I am always excited to add to my ever-growing "library" of literature, sitting on my dresser, leaned against my jewelry box.  Eventually, when she and I buy a house, we will have a library for the vast amounts of books that the two of us have collected over the years, seperately and as a couple.  

Here are a few titles or authors that I have an interest in reading:

• Butch is a Noun - S. Bear Bergman
• Drag King Dreams - Leslie Feinberg
• Audre Lorde
• Are You My Mother? - Alison Bechdel
• Ellen Hopkins (possibly but not a burning interest)
• House on Mango Street - Sandra Cisneros
• And Tango Makes Three - Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson (may be children's lit but I do have kids!)

As you can tell, it's a short list at the moment, considering I'm sitting here trying to recall what titles I had wanted to read.  

Alright, time to jet.  Needing to get home to finish my papers (obviously, I have not accomplished them yet since I'm still a little distracted.  Hoping I have officially cleared my mind now!)

Let me mention one minor side note: my girlfriend has decided that I am "overly obsessed with my 'gayness'."  Please remind her that it's completely alright for me to be like this!!  :-)

Closing Thoughts:  Ever expanding knowledge, ROCKS!  Plain and simple.

* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛°

Updating my list! 

I have an ever expanding, almost exploding, bookshelf full of books within the LGBTQAI genre and I can't seem to stop adding more to it!

• The Illusionist - Francoise Mallet-Joris 
• I Am a Red Dress: Incantations on a Grandmother, a Mother, and a Daughter - Anna Camilleri
• Annie on My Mind - Nancy Garden
• Ash & Huntress - Malinda Lo
• The Photograph - Jane Retzig
• Tell the Wolves I'm Home - Carol Rifka Brunt

These are a few, and obviously since authors continue to publish, this list will continue to grow.  (Plus, this makes a great place for me to list them and have them saved so I don't lose the papers I write the titles on!  Sometimes I have good ideas.)